Finding your tribe

November 17, 2016

 

 Are you ready to let go of who the world told you to be and to explore who you truly are?

 

Do you feel as if you have to work to fit in, that you haven’t found where you truly belong?

Do you ever feel called to do more? Be more? But you have no idea where to start?

 

When Georgia found out her personality type (INFJ) and started to read up about it, she felt an almost immediate sense of relief.  She had finally found something that ‘made sense’.  She wasn’t weird or broken; she was just wired a little differently to the majority of people.  Initially armed with this knowledge and sense of relief she felt like she had direction and a new approach to how she saw her life.

 

After a while she found herself questioning:

  • What to do now?

  • She wanted to know more?

  • Who was she truly?

 

She enrolled in the INFx unveiled program and was once again back in that place of feeling a sense of relief and direction.  The program was full of anecdotes from other INFJ types that she would nod her head as she listened to.  There were practical exercises that she really resonated with and adopted as practises.  But she was ready for more 1:1 guidance as opposed to a general online course.  The deep dive program benefited Georgia by enabling her to move to a deeper level in her personal journey while receiving real time feedback for whatever she was going through in the moment.  She found ‘her tribe’ a group of her own kind of people, and she had accountability, which is something she had struggled with doing an online home study program.  Before the deep dive Georgia had felt very lonely on her path, she felt nearly isolated and she didn’t know where to get the right support for her journey.  The deep dive allowed her to be part of a group who support one another, and as a result she has a deeper sense of belonging, not just in this program, but across all areas of her life.

 

There is a difference between fitting in and belonging.  Fitting in is where you put on a facade and change yourself so that you will be accepted.  Belonging is where you can truly be who you are, and accepted exactly as you are.  The deep dive program helps you to identify areas in your life where you are merely fitting in, and to move past this to truly belong.  When you belong, you have found your tribe!  How do you know if you truly belong?  The best way is you know that it isn’t going to be smiles and happy all the time, your tribe are real, they are the people who will tell you if you are being delusional about something, they will be honest with you, so that you can have the real life support you need to make the real changes you have been dreaming of.

 

What can you do to find your tribe?

  1. Make a list of your current tribe members, not just family or friends that immediately come to mind, take a moment to truly think about it and write down the people that are there for you. This is a painful process and it may bring up uncomfortable feelings.  Whatever you are going through is totally ok.  The point of this exercise is not to “fire” your current friends, nor is it to belittle yourself for not having any friends at the level that will make this list.  The point is to identify where you are at now, so that you have a starting point.  You may or may not already have some tribe members, and whichever it is for you is completely valid.                                                   

  2. Make a list of the qualities you would like in a tribe member, this list is highly personal, and differs greatly from person to person.  You may or may not have any people who would fit this list in your life right now.  The point is to get truly clear on what you really want and believe it’s available to you regardless of current circumstances.  Your tribe will come to you when you are open to the possibility.                                                                                                                                

  3. Once you have your starting point, your foundation, it is time to start building.  Join the deep dive program, or if that is too big a commitment at this point, join an active personality type specific Facebook group (we suggest the INFJ/INFP Healing group),  join a club that aligns with your interests (book club, bridge, Rotary, Apex, Scouts – the list is endless) where you can be you. The point is not to be someone that you are not, or put on a facade.  The point is to find a place where you can truly be yourself, and the best way to do that is to explore what really matters to you and to find a way to put yourself in situations where you can embody that, even if it’s only in a small way to start with, and by being yourself you allow others to be themselves and hence attract your tribe.                                                                                                                                 

 

In summary, you are the most important person in your life, you do deserve to have a tribe, a true sense of belonging and it's up to you to now go out there and make it happen!

 

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