Question: "How do I know if I'm making progress towards an important goal due to fear or some other type of sabotage, or because the direction just isn't quite the right fit?"
That’s a great question.
What I suggest that INF types do, is that we don’t create massive, idealistic main goals without a detailed plan of how to get there.
Many INF types have quite high expectations of their goals and what they should achieve.
When you don’t achieve your grandiose goal in a certain period of time, it’s very easy to start thinking: “oh, I must be self-sabotaging or I must be on a wrong goal, or I mustn’t be good enough and so on”. This can be very frustrating.
Here’s what to do instead:
Idealistic goals - stepping through the journey?
Step 1: Write down your overall goal, the end-game where you’d want to be.
Step 2: Then under your big goal, write down 5 to 10 sub-goals of what needs to happen before you reach your big goal.
Step 3: Look at each of the sub-goals, break them down into another sets of 5 to 10 smaller goals and write these down under each point.
Creating these small, bite-size goals helps you to get going and moving forward. When you do that you have an opportunity to look at how much you’ve actually achieved already. So there is a feeling of success, which comes naturally when you tick things off.
You can even make it into a game. How quickly can I fill the bottom line? How quickly can I do one of the sub-goals? Make the game something that works for you, so that it stays light and healthy.
Here are some other questions you might be asking yourself:
Am I making any progress?
Stop and review yourself and how things are feeling, in terms of where you are right now. Have a weekly appointment with yourself and look at your plans, achieved goals and notice how far you have come since you started.
Is this the right direction for me?
When you review your goals weekly, stop and look at the direction you are going and ask yourself how it feels. Does your goal still feel right for you?
It could be that the direction you have chosen is not relevant to you anymore, because plans change, experiences change and we evolve and change as human beings.
In this case you need to course correct and think if you actually need to move into some other area or some other specific goal that is more right for you.
Whatever your big goal might be in the beginning, it could turn out to be something you didn’t want after all. When you achieve a goal that’s actually not right for you, you will realise it because it won’t make you happy. So it’s important to review the process regularly so you don't end up there.
How do I know which goal to follow?
If you are unclear about your goals, choose some that feel the most true and just keep moving forward. Nothing is worse than trying to steer a plane that’s still on the ground, so use that forward momentum in whichever direction you end up going.
Make a flight plan, take off with your plane and start moving into a direction and then review your goals weekly and just see if it still feels right.
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