Quick Tips #18: Haters Gonna Hate
Question: I’ve been a fan of your work for quite some time and I just wanted to know how do you deal with haters.
That’s actually a great question and it is something that comes up from time to time.
I would like to preface my answer with this:
When you have haters you know that you have done something worthwhile in your life.
And what I mean by that is that you have stood up for something that you really believe in.
People who don’t want to offend anyone, who want to make sure that everybody is okay and even please everyone, don’t often have haters.
It is the people who show as authentic self and stand up for what they believe who are criticised.
How do I deal with haters?
There is a very short answer to that and that is: I don’t. I don’t deal with haters at all.
I just really don’t deal with them. I don’t engage with them. I don’t deal with any of that. Getting into that actually takes focus away from what I am doing.
As long as I can live with my thoughts, my actions and my behaviour, then I don’t really have to explain it to anyone - especially to somebody who, more often than not, doesn’t even know who I am as a person.
Haters usually have no idea about what I’m about and what I have been already doing, and have no context other than their own projections of where they think I’m coming from.
I love all kind of music and listen to rap and classical music and anything in between. There are these lyrics in one of Jay Z’s songs that goes: “ ...what the hell have y’all done to even have an opinion on what I’ve been doing...”. And that’s so true.
People say, oh Vanilla Ice only had that one hit, they are one hit wonder. Well, how many hits have you had? You know it’s easy to criticise people who you don’t know, who you can’t criticise face to face with actual great feedback that might help them in any way.
Haters hate, because they feel inadequate about themselves. That’s all it is.
I recognised this in high school when I was bullied. The problem was not me but rather the bullies themselves who felt inadequate and not measuring up to things that they perceived me doing.
People who don’t feel inadequate about themselves don’t have time to hate.
People who are busy creating their own lives don’t feel like victims.
People who are continuously challenging themselves to grow don’t feel like persecutors.
People who are empowered don’t vibrate at that same level as the people who have the need to be "persecutory", or to criticise or to be a victim of somebody else’s actions.
Haters gonna hate
Think about the most successful people that you know - people that you really admire. Now think about all the people who criticise those people.
The people who criticize other people are usually less successful and jealous of what the other person has achieved and they themselves have not.
If you think about it that way, then you can probably say, “haters gonna hate”.
Always remember, haters only see you through their perspective. That has usually nothing to do with you.
So that’s how I deal with haters, I hope that helps.
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