Quick Tips #24: Regretting Life Choices
Question: “I always wanted to have children and to be a parent. But since having them, I feel overwhelmed and inadequate. I love my kids but I find myself regretting my life choices. How do I move on?”
What a fabulous question! This is something a lot of INF-types struggle with.
We love our children but we tend to feel overwhelmed and inadequate. It just doesn’t feel right, so how do we take it from there?
The most important thing to remember is that you are likely to feel these ill feelings when you're not looking after yourself.
Often feeling overwhelmed or regretful comes up because we are exhausted. In those times, we are not looking after ourselves and our inner children's needs are not being met. This can lead to a discrepancy and feeling resentful towards our children.
The key here is to start looking after ourselves first:
Go back into your inner parenting.
Make sure that your inner children's needs are met and that you can truly live your life looking after your inner children first.
Tap into that power those inner children have, and then relate to your own biological children.
Whenever we feel that we don't get our needs met, we start to feel resentful towards other people.
Make sure that you identify your needs, to do this ask yourself:
How am I feeling right now?
What do I need right now?
Ask yourself those questions and identify your needs. Fulfill those needs and then see how you feel about your children from there on in.
Most of the time what happens is that we are able to enjoy our children because we have looked after ourselves.
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